Oh No… No no no no no… !!!!!

Life can really be very hard sometimes.I had gotten to be quite good friends with M over the past few months. It helps that she truly loves Ben. I mean, she loves him for who he is, not in the way that D is interested in him like he's some kind of experiment...

The other day, M came over to my place. It was a little surprising to see her without makeup. She looks so different... sort of, younger and easier to talk to.I learnt a little bit more about M today. It turns out that she has quite an awful family life. Apparently, her parents quarrel with each other all the time and her mother actually told her that she wished that she had not given birth to M!!! Can you believe that?! I mean, it has GOT to be TERRIBLE to hear that from your own mother.When M was cuddling Ben and telling him how much she loves him and how she is going to have lots of babies when she grows up, and love them with all her heart, I suddenly realised something - M has never been loved at all by her parents. I think she's always hanging around with boys because she wants any kind of love that she can get, even if it is not REAL love. I'm starting to understand why M behaves like a flirt...

Are you ready for the huge bomb that is going to come next? Well, get ready : M LIKES TONY TOO!!!!! She told me!!!

Yeah... I feel like my heart has just dropped down to the bottom of my stomach. There is no way I can have a chance with Tony now. M is so much better with boys as compared with me. If she decides to chase Tony, she will definitely win. Although I was disappointed, M is still my friend after all. I don't hate her at all for liking Tony.

I did take Ben away from her so that I could feed him his milk myself. It doesn't matter too much if she likes Tony. Nobody will ever take Ben away from me. He is MY brother!

Heartbrokenly,
Anna.

Summer holiday, and my fluttering heart...

Finally, the summer holidays are here. Ben is now 2 years old and I love him more and more each day. Life is quite good, and I’m feeling happy these days.

The only thing that irritates me is Katy. She’s being so fussy and childish. She thinks that we can go away on holiday like we used to before Ben was born. How can that silly child think that way?! I mean, how can we travel for long distances when Ben’s health is so weak? What if he gets sick on the way and there was no clinic nearby?

Dad offered to let us take up some courses so that we would have something to do during the summer holiday. I decided to take up a tennis class. I mean, I’m not bad at tennis, so maybe the class can let me improve some more? =)

It’s that irritating Katy who is making things soooooooo difficult!!! >:O She’s angry that she cannot go on holiday, so she’s purposely refusing all the classes that Dad offered to let her take. In the end, when Dad told her that she would be stuck doing nothing at all for 3 whole months, she got scared and decided that she wanted to follow me and take tennis lessons. Irritating copycat! Now, I will have to take care of her during lessons!

One good thing happened during tennis lessons~ One day, when I was having a tennis lesson, I saw a boy playing tennis in the next court. He’s so… special… It helps that he’s not too bad looking… ~ ~ ~ He’s got the nicest looking eyes I have ever seen. He’s tall, tanned and he has nice, dark hair. His name is Tony. I got to know it because he was a friend of Miranda’s friend. I can tell that Miranda likes him too. Hmm…

I hope I see him again next week at the tennis courts…


Cheers,
Anna-Susanna

D came over today.

Today, I asked D if she wanted to come over to my house after school. After not being my best friend for so long, I thought at first that she would refuse. However, she seemed so eager and accepted my offer. Somehow, I sort of suspect that it was because she was only interested in seeing what Ben - the baby with the big, deformed head, looks like.

It was almost too embarrassing though. When we walked in the door, we met Mom looking all sloppy in her old slippers and messy hair. That afternoon, I suddenly realised that Mom had changed A LOT over the years. She probably can't take care of her appearance, now that she has to spend all her time taking care of Ben...

I really don't quite know what to feel about D and the way she treats Ben. On one hand, I'm quite thankful that she did not scream and run away in fright when she saw Ben's huge, deformed head. However, she was asking all sorts of rude questions about Ben. Although she called him "Cute and sort of different and special", I kinda felt that she was studying him as though he was some sort of weird and fascinating animal in a science lab - and not at all like the adorable baby he was. That's the thing about D you see... She can be so honest that sometimes, I wonder if she has any real human emotions and feelings at all...

On the bright side, Mom and I had a lovely cup of tea and a nice chat that afternoon, after D went off. I could not help noticing that Mom had tidied herself up and put on make-up. Maybe she feels a bit more aware of her own looks after seeing beautiful, gorgeous D... *rolls eyes*

D asked if she could come back to see Ben often. I said yes, but now that I think about it, I'm not quite sure... I mean, I'm glad that she's sort of my friend again, but I don't want her to stare at Ben like he's a science project! What should I do...?

Depressed and Dejected
Anna Pea-brain

So, this is it.

Like the title says... This is it. I'm finally cleaning out my closet. Everyone at school knows about my brother, Benedict, and the condition that he suffers from. I guess there's no point in trying to keep it a secret.

I'm glad that people have found out. And I'm also glad that everyone has been so nice about it. Thank you, everyone.I have decided to be honest, and to accept that my brother is handicapped. I am going to be proud of him. As such, I have created this blog in order to share with everyone my day-to-day experiences. I hope you will pop by often, because I will be updating!

Cheers,
Anna the Pea-brain