I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a funeral. I had been expecting Ben’s funeral to be very serious and gloomy, but it was not like that at all. It was a bright and sunny day – not at all like what a funeral was supposed to be like. We all said our last goodbyes to our dear sweet Ben, and Mr Henderson said something that really made us feel a bit better.
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”
I think Mr Henderson means that people like Ben, who are so innocent and sweet and who has not learnt the bad part of human nature, will be happy when they leave this world, because they will go to Heaven and be happy with God. When we heard what Mr Henderson said, we all felt better because we knew that our dear Ben is happy with God in Heaven...
We started to try and get back to our normal lives. Sometimes, I start to feel a bit better and then suddenly I will feel guilty about the fact that I am not feeling sad that Ben is gone... =( What’s wrong with me?
It was very hard for us to look at Ben’s clothes and toys after he passed away. They reminded us so much of him.. However, one day, we took out all his clothes and toys and decided to donate them to charity. I think he would have wanted us to do that – he would have wanted us to help other unfortunate childeren just like himself...
One day at work... I met a little girl... Oh dear.. how she reminds me of Ben!
Her name is Jackie. She has Down’s Syndrome, so she does not learn things as quickly as normal children. But she is lovely. I like her, and I like her mother too.
Guess what? Her mother offered to employ me as a babysitter for Jackie! I am going to love Jackie the same way I love Ben. I promise...
Yours Always,
Anna
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Life after Death
Posted by AnnaPeacock at 8:34 AM
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22 comments:
hi anna!!
i think you should not cry. it is not that im telling you to feel sad but i think that ben would not want us to cry if he do see us he i bet he wanted all of us to be happy for being let away from all the suffering.
getting yourself a babysiting job is not very bad, you must be very glad to see jackie.your stress willbe all gone after a tiring day looking after jackie!
so gdluck in your new job if you r in!!
love
jiahui
funeral is sometime like a party it is like nobody feel the sadness from it so dont take it too seriously [continue from my 1st post.]
love
jiahui
Hi Anna ! And,yeah. It's quite good that Ben's funeral is a bright and sunny day. Your parents,may be trying to stay happy by making his funeral bright and sunny . :D So try to understand,instead of expecting it to be gloomy and serious. It's sometime not COOL to think that,it should be gloomy and serious,because it's a good release to Ben who's suffering from Hydrocephalus. ;D And,it's good that you know another child called Jackie. Remeber,to love her like you love Ben ! And,it's good for you to have that job,so that it would keep your mind preoccupied ! (:
hello anna ,
you should keep yourself strong &
continue on with your life .
ben wouldnt want you to be sad .
funeral aint always gloomy & serious , i had seen many funeral where people were there
playing poker cards & sometimes people were in groups
they were chatting happily it seems like some sort
of some gathering .
& sometimes , their family member cant be bother
about all these stuffs ,
just sit down there
& chat with people .
your parents dont want
to express their sadness out
because they want to be
strong in front of you all
& so that you all can follow on
to be strong .
maybe they wish , ben could
leave peacefully .
& they knew that ben wouldnt want them to be sad
either .
anyway ,
babysitting might be fun ,
but its troublesome .
they might be fun to play with
but they are sort of irratating .
well , but maybe it
would make you happier as
you can get to play with
them , enjoy their childhood
with them is always a kind
of fun though :D .
it is also good so that you wont
keep imagaine stuffs .
stay happy (: .
& cheer up alright ?
& all the best in your babysiting job (:
Hello Anna :D
Yes , Ben is blessed ,
He went to heaven , perhaps .
He'll be happy up there .
He will be with god,
together watch you ,
ensuring your safety , happiness .
You should not be guilty ,
as now he is gone ,
and you should not be missing him always .
As you know , he might not R.I.P , or missing him always,
will only makes you miss him more,
and become even sad .
You donated Ben's stuffs ,
perhaps that would not make you miss him truck loads .
You can stop thinking about him a little ,
and try to get of with life .
Jackie having down syndrome ,
you should treat her like how you used to treat ben ,
treating her like a normal human being , giving her toys to play (:
Good luck in baby sitting ,
I'm sure you will do a good job out of it :D
Cheers x3
Hellos Anna :DD
yeapp and you are right ;D
going to a funeral was something people thought is a serious and gloomy matter. its serious. but most people treat is like well auspicious day ? or a really fortunate day. Maybe this is a part where people thing that their souls will fly happily to the heaven with the god.
Its good to have a bright and sunny day at the funeral.Mayeb that represented the peace Ben wanted . A real life that ben wants. A place where its not raining but shuning evey single moment.
Dont worry anna. The god would protect Ben. And of course i have been to a funeral. You do thought that after living on your own life doing something without Ben you felt better but you felt guilty too. Dont feel guily , Its what it would become after all .
Donating to the needs was really maybe something that Ben really wants.Full of toys , clothes to the unfortunate ones like Ben .
I am gladd that you met Jackie.
Her mother was really great <33 to offer you the job for babysitting. I am really truly happy for you getting a job like that .But truly hope that baby sitting Jackie whose sickness was almost like Ben would not let you think of Ben himself.
He, in the heaven would not want someone he loves to be grieved and worring about him.
You did dream about Ben dont you .
Lying in the sea looking peaceful
Ben really wanted you her beloved sister to know everything.
He is extremly happy and relaxed in heaven.
At least now he dosent need to sufferd and heavy that heavy head.
well no offence :D
&& Stop imagine stuff alright .:D
Dont show that << Life over Death mood.. SHow a happy Mood :DD
It is somethign everyone wanted.
A parents whoose child was lost .How would it felt. All the pain givign birth to died in only how many years. Your parents grived is even more than you. They just dont wanna show out their sad eppresion. Their emotion is something you should learn about .
Alright Anna. Forget abotu the past and go on a new life. A new beggining .
Cheer Up :DD
Goodluckk in the babysitting job . You--can--do--it :DD
'Cherlyn :D
hello anna !
i totally agree with mr henderson . Ben is with God now , living happily .
You once had a dream of him , living happily . Maybe it is Ben signal to you , to allow you to know , he is living a happy life . Dont be so sad because Ben is gone .
We , as humans must learn to LET GO .
Its good that you are getting on with normal life now . You should not be guilty because you are not feeling sad . I am sure , Ben in Heaven would not like to see your family , everyday pulling a long face .
ALL THE BEST ON WORKING AS A BABY SITTER (:
take care ,
CHIYU
Your parents are trying to remain as happy as possible . They are , in fact , upset like now the state you are in . Cause they know that Ben had gone back to God and he's living happily there like what Mr Henderson says .
He can't come back to life . But you will still remember him right ?
Stay cheerful and happy ! Ben does not want to see you being upset .
Cheers =)& good luck for baby sitting
Well i think GOD gave Jackie for Anna to take care off on purpose is to let her not to forget Ben? i dont know! and oh...ya its good that Anna is also not like others who depise on other..and to Benedict, His death is actually something which can get away from all his sufferings.
Hi Sunshine!
Do not be sad Anna! I know how you feel. I've experienced this before and its normal to miss someone who will be gone forever and feel nostalgic. Do something useful to overcome your sadness towards Ben.
Anyway good luck with your new job of babysitting Jakie. Maybe that will help you to feel content. Have fun!
Love Hanisah and Paramore!
Hi anna,
I know how it is to feel sad when a close family member has died. I think you should get on with your life and think positively. Since ben has went up to heaven,you should get on with your life and ben will be happier to go to another beautiful world where he dont have to suffer with his condition. A funeral need not be gloomy or serious, you should treat it like a day which ben will to somewhere nicer,and will have all his sufferings gone.
Emm...so u had take a job of babysitting jackie...i am sure that u will take good care of her like you treat ben. Although she reminds you of ben you should not always think of ben passing away,as i said you should think in a positive manner.+)- positive face
So, THINK + , make full use of your time in the world..
SmIlEz AlWaYs..=]
goodluck!!
Yours truly
Nicole
hi Anna...dun be sad alright?i dun think ben would want u all to be sad...cheer up!be happy always so that when ben sees u smilimg,he would be happy as well...dun be sad k?
well,babysitting a baby with down syndrome is very hard but if u do all ur best,u can do it better den u expected!
happy always
Aloysius
hiiiiii anna
i am charlotte
i thing u should also thing positive and wear the clothes
that ben like when he is alive
and do not cry as i think ben
would not like u to cry during his funeral as he would want to leave in peace insted of leaving with sadness like some funeral kids play cathing at the viod deck and some adult playing mah jong or poker cards like me,i always play water bomb and poker cards during funeral as i thing it is good as the person is dying also symbolizes the person has stop suffering as some ppl may suffer from sickness like my grandma
so dun be sad anna god will bless benedict
and getting a babysitting job is also good it can keep ur mind occupied so that u will think so much about ben deaths and fell sad another good point is that looking babies are goosd as some baby are cute and will make ur day really fun and happy and remember to look after jackie like how u look after ben and how u love ben
soo cheer up alrights!!!!!!
and good luck in ur job
charlotte,,:)
Anna.. glad you found a job... Jackie seems very much like Ben but remember. Even though Jackie is not Ben, shower her with all the love that you have the same way you did with Ben... I know you still feel the pain you got after Ben's death... like i said in your previous 'Pain' post... you have to let go of the pain... Ben doesn't want you to suffer... Perhaps the meeting with Jackie was all Ben's idea... Perhaps this meeting was to help you overcome that pain in your heart and was to try to convince you to let go... I can tell this was Ben's idea... you may not see him in life anymore. But, his spirit is always with you.... His spirit was what brought you to meet Jackie...Perhaps Ben's idea was for you to take care of Jackie jus like you used to take care of Ben so you would think that you are taking care of Ben and would be happy... I can tell that Ben is still with you right now and will always be with you till the end... This meeting was and still is, A BLESSING IN DISGUISE... remember that Anna... Stay happy... and again, congrats on your knewly found Job... I bet Jackie is an adorable little girl and a fun person to take care of..
Hello Anna.
not all funerals are suppose to be sad. Some people who are already deceased , want you to be happy. Happy that they don't have to suffer anymore. Its not your fault that you are being to forget Ben. I myself kept doing other stuff and i didn't notice that my grandfather was no longer around.
Stop blaming yourself. You can't carry on thinking of Ben all your life.
Its good that your parents wants to donate them to charity. I'm sure Ben would want you to do that.
Jackie is down with Down Syndrome.
you should treat her the same like how you treat Ben & other children. Because , they want to be treated like a normal kid.
Just remember that there ARE people who care for you!
Cheers ,
Dawna
Hi Anna !!!
I know how you feel... i had experienced a few funerals & i had the same kind of thoughts as you had too!!
I thought that funerals were supposed to be very quiet and dark but actually i was wrong , in fact , we were both wrong!!!
When my grandfather died a few month ago =(, the weather was sunny like during Ben's funeral... Everybody was not wearing black but in fact they wore various of colours .
There were of course some crying but not very loud cries as i had imagine .
Note: sorry for not blogging to you for a long time... =( My computer broke down . I'm borrowing my friend's computer ...
Sorry!
Hope you cheer up !! LIFE GOES ON GIRL !!! MAKE YOURSELF HAPY WITH THE NEW JOB!!!
lots of lurbs,
Nurliz_jonas =)
anna,
maybe they are just happy that ben is out of pain, so don't worry! <3
you are not feeling sad maybe you also have the same thinking as them. (that's normal)
so don't worry so much,
Brace up and continue with life.
and all the best to your babysitting job, i know jackie with love you too.
takecare.
Hello Anna , it's not that bad that Ben's funeral is bright . I have even seen people gambling in a funeral and a child happily playing his psp when his mother is dead in the coffin .
It's also good that you have taken up a job , babysitting Jackie . Try to show more love to her and let her feel the love that you had given to her .
Cheer Up & Take care .
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